(Old post as my first post)
I’m sure we’ve all heard the news of The Great Betrayal by now. We’re looking at you
Arlen Specter. And those two Canadian chicks…Maine 1 and Maine 2. But
back to this Benedict Arlen fellow now. We should’ve been able to see
it in his face that he would be a deciever in one of the darkest hours.
After all, he’s not even one of us. “Oh gracious, what could he mean!?”
You know what I mean. Arlen Specter is playing for the other team. He’s
a wolf in sheep’s clothing. He’ll buy you a rose and then poke you with
thorns.
Arlen Specter is… an alien*:

*more evidence below
Specifically Nien Nunb from the SoroSuub Corporation.
Notice how the cheeks have more layers than my mother’s lasagna. The
robust ears. The fish-lips all nice and puckered up, ready to kiss your
baby with the stamp of dishonor and ready to shake your hand with
Captain’s hook waiting for you to turn so he can STAB YOU IN THE BACK!
The board calls for Arlen Specter to switch to the Democrat Party or become part of L. Calrissian’s fascist Alliance military party. The choice is yours, Arlen.
P.S.
No, I don’t know if the SoroSuub Corporation is behind this or why
they would be. Could it be the Trade Federation? Or, heaven forbid, a
sect of the Galactic Senate? We all know the alien bureacrats are some
of the most heinous.
God help us all.
*CLASSIFIED EVIDENCE*
EXHIBIT A:

Here the lasagna-cheeks are not as prevelent in our friend Arlen. He
may have been using some sort of aging cream at this time. We’re not
sure. Or maybe his E.T. body secretes it’s own sort of moist cakey
substance that provides a small camouflage. Again, we’re not sure.
EXHIBIT B:

Here you can really see it. Lasagna-cheeks in full force. You can
see in both photographs that the great amount of passion both are
showing reflects in the eyes. Now, normally I would have expected to
see Arlen’s ears to protrude horizontally in a time of great passion;
as in Exhibit B-1, but his do not. He has fooled a wide number of
colleagues this way.
EXHIBIT C:

This is a different photo because of the obvious aging of our Nien
Nunb friend. I cannot tell if this is Arlen Specter circa 1965 or
Arlen Specter circa 2009. There is greyness all around him. Arlen
must have found a way to prevent the excessive eye-bagginess as seen in
Exhibit C-2(which coincides with aging E.T.s). Again, though his
colleagues suffer from over-consumption of make-up products he has no
such need. Well Arlen, you could get rid of the eye-bagginess, but not
the lasagna cheeks. And that’s how we caught you. That and your vote
on the Porkulus.
Why, Nien Nunb, why?! Not even the great General Ackbar was safe
from your tretchery. Now your bloodlines have spilled their way into
the U.S. Senate. It’s only a matter of time before the Inter-Planetary
Revolution: perhaps in 2012?…
DUN DUN DUN!!!!